Really Honest, Really?

I just got home from having coffee with a good friend of mine. We both seem to have a realness and honesty to our talks that I wish I had with more people. We are both WYSIWYG (What You See Is What You Get) people. Why do people find honesty so difficult. I know I do. It's not that I am dishonest, but that I hide or fail to disclose what I am truly thinking or feeling. The worse thing is that my mind is processing both worlds simultaneously. Can you relate? You are thinking through the thought processes related to the world the person your communicating with is coming from (at least perceived to be from) and the one in which your heart and mind exist in. No wonder we're so tired and mentally strained today. Our beliefs may be those of an alien to the society in which we reside. Or are they? I wish I knew.

We make excuses such as "it's o.k. to compartmentalize areas of our lives" or "I just don't want to make waves so I keep my mouth shut." But by doing so we may be strengthening the others viewpoint which may ultimately cause harm to us or others. Possibly we are allowing truth to be hidden behind lies. We may be weakening our will to stand for anything. Maybe a little bit of all three. Honesty has become a difficult endeavor.

I have found that honesty may be harder to find within the church than even in the workplace. People will go through extraordinary contortions to hide the fact that maybe they enjoyed a cigar at a colleagues bachelor party. Maybe they lose control of their anger and blurt out unkind things that they wish they hadn't said. Maybe they felt that they never quite fit in or felt welcome within the church walls but hey, it's only one day a week so why complain about it. Maybe they really, really, really like sex. OMG. Did someone catch that? Maybe they enjoyed a nice Pinot Grigio with their Escargo last night but someone might assume that they may have a drinking problem. Maybe they went a couple of weeks without reading their bible or feeling like praying. Must be a heathen, right? Maybe it's that crazy serpent tatoo on your lower back that your trying hard to make sure no one sees when you bend over. Or, was it that you have been feeling depressed for no apparent reason for the last couple of months. Maybe it's that your struggling with caring or loving people. Could it be something as common as having doubts about God and His hand in your life. God forbid you should ever consider why you believe what you do and question the realities of life and faith and how they interface.

Wake up everyone. The above differential scenerios exist and can be applied to people everywhere. Black, white, yellow, brown and purple. Both outside and within the church. In the workplace, the ball park, the supermarket, the bank, everywhere. Christians need to get honest with themselves, each other AND with people who are outside of the church with whom they interact.

What does the world have to say about honesty?

Almost any difficulty will move in the face of honesty. When I am honest I never feel stupid. And when I am honest I am automatically humble.--Hugh Prather (I Touch the Earth, The Earth Touches Me)

Be sincere and true to your word, serious and careful in your actions; and you will get along even among barbarians, But if you are not sincere and untrustworthy in your speech, frivolous and careless in your actions, how will you get along even among your own neighbors? When stand, see these principles in front of you; in your carriage see them on the yoke. Then you may be sure to get along.--Confucius (The Analects)

Commend me to sterling honesty though clad in rags.--Sir Walter Scott

Deal honestly and objectively with yourself; intellectual honesty and personal courage are the hallmarks of great character.--Brian Tracey (The Treasury of Quotes)

Don't worry so much about your self-esteem. Worry more about your character. Integrity is its own reward.--Laura Schlessinger

Every man should make up his own mind that if he expect to succeed, he must give an honest return for the other man's dollar.--Edward H. Harriman

Every time we give our word, it counts. For the most part, most people give it entirely too often. Our word is a precious commodity and should be treated as such.--John-Roger and Peter McWilliams (Do It! Let's Get Off our Buts)

He that loseth his honesty hath nothing else to lose.--John Lyly ("Euphues" Eushues: the Anatomy of Wit)

Hold firmly to your word.--Maimonides

An honest answer is the sign of true friendship.--Proverbs 24:26

Honesty is better than any policy.--Immanuel Kant (Appendix to "Perpetual Peace" On Honesty ed. by Beck)

"Honesty" without compassion and understanding is not honesty, but subtle hostility.--Rose N. Franzblau (in New York Post, 1966)

How desperately difficult it is to be honest with oneself. It is much easier to be honest with other people.--Edward White Benson

I have found that being honest is the best technique I can use. Right up front, tell people what you're trying to accomplish and what you're willing to sacrifice to accomplish it.--Lee Iacocca

I hope I shall always possess firmness and virtue enough to maintain what I consider the most enviable of all titles, the character of an "Honest Man."--George Washington (Maxim)

If you have integrity, nothing else matters. If you don't have integrity,nothing else matters.--Alan Simpson

If you stand straight, do not fear a crooked shadow.--Chinese proverb

In the choice between changing ones mind and proving there's no need to do so, most people get busy on the proof.--John K. Galbraith

Integrity has no need of rules.--Albert Camus

Integrity is doing the right thing, even if nobody is watching.--Jim Stovall (You Don't Have to Be Blind to See)

Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people.--Spencer Johnson

Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful.--Samuel Johnson

It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.--Noel Coward

Let the world know you as you are, not as you think you should be, because sooner or later, if you are posing, you will forget the pose, and then where are you?--Fanny Brice

Life demands honesty, the ability to face, admit, and express oneself.--Starhawk

Many people today don't want honest answers insofar as honest means unpleasant or disturbing, They want a soft answer that turneth away anxiety.--Louis Kronenberger

Never esteem anything as of advantage to you that will make you break your word or lose your self-respect.--Marcus Aurelius

No legacy is so rich as honesty.--William Shakespeare

No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which one is true.--Nathaniel Hawthorne (The Scarlet Letter)

A "No" uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble.--Mohandas Gandhi

Nothing so completely baffles one who is full of tricks and duplicity himself, than straightforward and simple integrity in another.--Charles Caleb Coltron (Lacon)

The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience.--Harper Lee

People generally think that it is the world, the environment, external relationships, which stand in one's way, in the way of ones' good fortune... and at bottom it is always man himself that stands in his own way.--Soren Kierkegaard

The test of a government is not how popular it is with the powerful and privileged few but how honestly and fairly it deals with the many who must depend on it.--Jimmy Carter (Inaugural Address as Governor of Georgia, Jan. 12. 1977)

Thefts never enrich; alms never impoverish; murder will speak out of stone walls. The least admixture of a lie--for example, the taint of vanity, the least attempt to make a good impression, a favorable appearance--will instantly vitiate the effect.--Ralph Waldo Emerson

To be prosperous is not to be superior, and should form no barrier between men. Wealth out not to secure the prosperous the slightest consideration. The only distinctions which should be recognized are those of the soul, of strong principle, of incorruptible integrity, of usefulness, of cultivated intellect, of fidelity in seeking the truth.--William Ellery Channing

What's terrible is to pretend that the second-rate is first-rate. To pretend that you don't need love when you do; or you like your work when you know quite well you're capable of better.--Doris Lessing

With integrity you have nothing to fear, since you have nothing to hide. With integrity you will do the right thing, so you will have no guilt. With fear and guilt removed you are free to be and do your best.--Zig Ziglar (Zig Ziglar's Little Book of Big Quotes)

I have to believe that the world cannot fly in the face of honesty. It, as seen in the varied examples above, is considered essential in almost every secular, business, and spiritual discipline. If we are ever going to change our world, we have to start first with ourselves.

I for one am going to try. Will you? Honestly?