"Why Do I Do What I don't Want To Do?"
“Why do I always do what I don’t want to do?” This famous question by Paul still rings true today. Yet I would not forget, “Why don’t I do the things that I want to do?”
I think some of the following translations make it even more personal.
“I don't understand myself at all, for I really want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do the very thing I hate. NLT
In fact, I don't understand why I act the way I do. I don't do what I know is right. I do the things I hate. Contemporary English Version
In the immortal words of Pogo, "We have met the enemy and he is us."
It’s true. It has no base in that God is distant or that we are incapable of self-management. It has everything to do with us…and the choices we make. That’s it.
Oh, I know it’s a little oversimplified, maybe. But outside of tragic events or systemic, long-lasting abuse, we should be easily enabled to make wise decisions.
Decisions that are in-line with God’s plans for us.
In-line with His way of thinking.
Who here has ever said “Why do I always do what I don’t want to do?”
Isn’t it true that we all have particular struggles? Areas we wish we could do better?
What are some?
Our temper, over-spending, eating, mood swings, drinking, sexual desires are just a few of the issues that we all deal with.
Here is a list of some of the substances, attitudes, and behaviors that most commonly become addictions (remember that anything can become an addiction):
Work Perfectionism Control
Sex Intellectualization Relationships
Drugs (illegal and legal, including nicotine and caffeine)
Misery (negaholism) Gossip Alcohol
"Rescuing" Others Religious Activity Food
Gambling Criticism Rage
Adrenaline Lust Materialism
Self Hate Thoughts of Death Self Abuse
"Every man is tempted when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin; and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death. James 1: 14, KJV (Word "lust" is translated "evil desire" in the NIV) or…
“We are tempted by our own desires that drag us off and trap us.” CEV
“A man is tempted to do wrong when he lets himself be led by what his bad thoughts tell him to do.” New Life Version
"The sin that is inside of me, that is stronger that I am makes me do these evil things" Rom 7:17
"Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul." I Peter 2:11 KJV
“Dear friends, your real home is not here on earth. You are strangers here. I ask you to keep away from all the sinful desires of the flesh. These things fight to get hold of your soul. When you are around people who do not know God, be careful how you act. CEV
Peter beseeched us, not even as a new Christian, for he was many years a believer when discussing his own struggles and temptations. He equated our bound-ness to sin as being a “slave to the flesh.”
He said, "Who will deliver me from this body of death?" And we know that that was a way of Roman capital punishment. A man convicted of murder was made to carry the body of the man he killed chained to his back. He would do this as the body was decomposing and decaying. Eventually contaminating and fusing with his own back.
Paul uses that body of death as a metaphor now in regards to his own life of sin.
God has dominion over the chains that bound the old dead guy to your back. They’ve been broken.
The problem is that we’ve grabbed a-hold of the ends of those chains and are holding that dead body to ourselves.
Fearful of the pain it would cause to let go. After all, it’s become one with us. A part of us and a part of who we are.
We have given a birth to a fear of losing the sin nature that we’ve allowed more power than the fear of not letting him go.
The Experience of the Numinous: It's the Real Thing
What we become frustrated with is the way sin acts itself out in our own personal experience, but to understand it fully we must first look at what’s referred to as the experience of the numinous. A Greek work best described by William Shakespeare.
The experience of the Numinous: A profound disturbance in the soul, excited by the presence of One so great that "Under it my genius is rebuked..." (Shakespeare)
Numinous is the awe-debilitating presence of one so great and powerful that we become as nothing. It is caused by nothing of this earth.
It is what I think is missing from the experience and relationship of most Christians.
John the Revelator "fell on his face as one dead" at the feet of Christ in a numinous experience. (See Revelation 1:17)
Even Adam and Eve who had never had a reason to experience fear, his from God when they had entertained sin.
Numinous awe is what Jacob experienced when he awakened from the vision of the ladder to Heaven and sensed the presence of God in that place. (See Genesis 28)
In the numinous experience, all else but the worship of God fades into insignificance. The emotion can be intense as in surges of joy and gratitude mixed with the awe.
Or it can be accompanied by a deep sense of peace.
Either way, sin and self are unable to stand as an affront to God.
It’s a place where we are left speechless.
It’s a place where we are left feeling altogether small but wonderfully loved.
It’s a place where our thoughts are His thoughts.
It’s a place where we can see and recognize the awesome power of a newborn in a manger and of a dead man brutalized upon a cross.
It’s a place where all addictions and lusts are replaced by this one source.
Again, the question. “Why do I always do what I don’t want to do?”
It’s because I haven’t been continually in the numinous experience. Or have left it, or have forgotten it or never experienced it.
And, because of this, our capacity to sin flies in the face of a God who offers us freedom.
We are created for a numinous experience with God. There is a place deep inside us that can only be filled by the presence of God Himself, in what John Eldridge calls "the sacred romance". Deep connection with the Divine is the only thing that can ever satisfy our hearts most profound longing.
Facing the truth about our problems, we must:
"CONFESS your sins to each other and pray for each other so God can heal you" James 5:16 (New Century Version)
DEDICATE: "…Give yourselves completely to God since you have been given new life (Rom 6:12-13 NLT)
Experience the Numinous and the “old man” will be seen for what he is, merely a dead guy we’ve been carrying around of our own strength.
I think some of the following translations make it even more personal.
“I don't understand myself at all, for I really want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do the very thing I hate. NLT
In fact, I don't understand why I act the way I do. I don't do what I know is right. I do the things I hate. Contemporary English Version
In the immortal words of Pogo, "We have met the enemy and he is us."
It’s true. It has no base in that God is distant or that we are incapable of self-management. It has everything to do with us…and the choices we make. That’s it.
Oh, I know it’s a little oversimplified, maybe. But outside of tragic events or systemic, long-lasting abuse, we should be easily enabled to make wise decisions.
Decisions that are in-line with God’s plans for us.
In-line with His way of thinking.
Who here has ever said “Why do I always do what I don’t want to do?”
Isn’t it true that we all have particular struggles? Areas we wish we could do better?
What are some?
Our temper, over-spending, eating, mood swings, drinking, sexual desires are just a few of the issues that we all deal with.
Here is a list of some of the substances, attitudes, and behaviors that most commonly become addictions (remember that anything can become an addiction):
Work Perfectionism Control
Sex Intellectualization Relationships
Drugs (illegal and legal, including nicotine and caffeine)
Misery (negaholism) Gossip Alcohol
"Rescuing" Others Religious Activity Food
Gambling Criticism Rage
Adrenaline Lust Materialism
Self Hate Thoughts of Death Self Abuse
"Every man is tempted when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin; and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death. James 1: 14, KJV (Word "lust" is translated "evil desire" in the NIV) or…
“We are tempted by our own desires that drag us off and trap us.” CEV
“A man is tempted to do wrong when he lets himself be led by what his bad thoughts tell him to do.” New Life Version
"The sin that is inside of me, that is stronger that I am makes me do these evil things" Rom 7:17
"Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul." I Peter 2:11 KJV
“Dear friends, your real home is not here on earth. You are strangers here. I ask you to keep away from all the sinful desires of the flesh. These things fight to get hold of your soul. When you are around people who do not know God, be careful how you act. CEV
Peter beseeched us, not even as a new Christian, for he was many years a believer when discussing his own struggles and temptations. He equated our bound-ness to sin as being a “slave to the flesh.”
He said, "Who will deliver me from this body of death?" And we know that that was a way of Roman capital punishment. A man convicted of murder was made to carry the body of the man he killed chained to his back. He would do this as the body was decomposing and decaying. Eventually contaminating and fusing with his own back.
Paul uses that body of death as a metaphor now in regards to his own life of sin.
God has dominion over the chains that bound the old dead guy to your back. They’ve been broken.
The problem is that we’ve grabbed a-hold of the ends of those chains and are holding that dead body to ourselves.
Fearful of the pain it would cause to let go. After all, it’s become one with us. A part of us and a part of who we are.
We have given a birth to a fear of losing the sin nature that we’ve allowed more power than the fear of not letting him go.
The Experience of the Numinous: It's the Real Thing
What we become frustrated with is the way sin acts itself out in our own personal experience, but to understand it fully we must first look at what’s referred to as the experience of the numinous. A Greek work best described by William Shakespeare.
The experience of the Numinous: A profound disturbance in the soul, excited by the presence of One so great that "Under it my genius is rebuked..." (Shakespeare)
Numinous is the awe-debilitating presence of one so great and powerful that we become as nothing. It is caused by nothing of this earth.
It is what I think is missing from the experience and relationship of most Christians.
John the Revelator "fell on his face as one dead" at the feet of Christ in a numinous experience. (See Revelation 1:17)
Even Adam and Eve who had never had a reason to experience fear, his from God when they had entertained sin.
Numinous awe is what Jacob experienced when he awakened from the vision of the ladder to Heaven and sensed the presence of God in that place. (See Genesis 28)
In the numinous experience, all else but the worship of God fades into insignificance. The emotion can be intense as in surges of joy and gratitude mixed with the awe.
Or it can be accompanied by a deep sense of peace.
Either way, sin and self are unable to stand as an affront to God.
It’s a place where we are left speechless.
It’s a place where we are left feeling altogether small but wonderfully loved.
It’s a place where our thoughts are His thoughts.
It’s a place where we can see and recognize the awesome power of a newborn in a manger and of a dead man brutalized upon a cross.
It’s a place where all addictions and lusts are replaced by this one source.
Again, the question. “Why do I always do what I don’t want to do?”
It’s because I haven’t been continually in the numinous experience. Or have left it, or have forgotten it or never experienced it.
And, because of this, our capacity to sin flies in the face of a God who offers us freedom.
We are created for a numinous experience with God. There is a place deep inside us that can only be filled by the presence of God Himself, in what John Eldridge calls "the sacred romance". Deep connection with the Divine is the only thing that can ever satisfy our hearts most profound longing.
Facing the truth about our problems, we must:
"CONFESS your sins to each other and pray for each other so God can heal you" James 5:16 (New Century Version)
DEDICATE: "…Give yourselves completely to God since you have been given new life (Rom 6:12-13 NLT)
Experience the Numinous and the “old man” will be seen for what he is, merely a dead guy we’ve been carrying around of our own strength.
posted by Dean at 11:17 PM
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