My Life

So, I understand that some of you don't know me? That's o.k. as I like to drown myself in an everpresent anonymity, be invisibly everywhere. I am clearly destined for excellence in mediocrity, with a simple flamboyance, all the while being somewhat stupidly intelligent.

I used to be a performer. Pretty decent I suppose. Danced a little but mostly used my voice to get me around. I've visited 24 countries and 49 of the states. Hawaii awaits and baits me. I love to travel. But tire quickly of hotels. I would rather rent a place, stay in a hostel, or stay with families. I think I just enjoy the uncertainty that exists with foreign travel. The idea that I must rely more on myself as I am stepping outside of my comfort zone.

I found a link for a guy who used to sing for the same group as I a couple of years after I left the road. Check out his stuff here.

[http://ecards.wordrecords.com/mark_schultz/9_05_email/player.html]

One of my favorite bumper stickers is..."GOD MUST LOVE STUPID PEOPLE, HE MADE SO MANY OF THEM" I think that every single one of them was driving in front of me this a.m.

I LOVE COFFEE, and TEAS, and GOOD FOOD and WINE and CHEESES and SUSHI and MUSIC of ALL SORTS and the THEATER and DRIVING FAST and MY WIFE and KIDS and ALL NATURAL ICE CREAM and COOKING and did I mention COFFEE?

YOU KNOW YOU DRINK TOO MUCH COFFEE WHEN...
You answer the door before people knock.
Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
You ski uphill.
You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
You lick your coffeepot clean.
You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there.
You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
You chew on other people's fingernails.
Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend."
You can type 60 words per minute ... with your feet.
You spend every vacation visiting "Maxwell House."
You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.
You speed walk in your sleep.
You don't get mad, you get steamed.
You can jump-start your car without cables.
All your kids are named "Joe."
Cocaine is a downer.
You don't need a hammer to pound nails.
Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
You don't sweat, you percolate.
You buy Half & Half by the barrel.
You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.
People get dizzy just watching you.
Your life's goal is to amount to a hill of beans.
You name your cats "Cream" and "Sugar."
You've worn the finish off your coffee table.
The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.
You sleep with your eyes open.
You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.
Instant coffee takes too long.
When someone says "How are you?" you say, "Good to the last drop."
You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.
Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
Your three favorite things in life are...coffee before, coffee during and coffee after.
Your lover uses soft lights, romantic music, and a glass of iced coffee to get you in the mood. You channel surf faster without a remote.
You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.
You're so wired, you pick up AM radio.
Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
You think being called a "drip" is a compliment.
You'd be willing to spend time in a Turkish prison.
You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.
People can test their batteries in your ears.
You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
You can thread a sewing machine, while it's running.
You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
You short out motion detectors.
You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
You don't tan, you roast.
You can't even remember your second cup.
You help your dog chase its tail.
You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
Your coffee mug is insured by Lloyds of London.
You introduce your spouse as your coffeemate.
You get drunk just so you can sober up.
You speak perfect Arabic without ever taking a lesson.
Your Thermos is on wheels.
Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.
You think CPR stands for "Coffee Provides Resuscitation."
Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.

I enjoy CLEAN humor. Bravo to Old Spice for their Clean Humor Campaign. I don't like to be embarrassed taking my children to things inappropriate for their ages. So again thanks OS.

I am racist, against racists. I cannot understand the hatred that some assign to particular people groups. [http://www.searchlightmagazine.com/index.php]

I am also a scientist by schooling. I worked in both a research and clinical capacity for roughly 11 years but now enjoy the freedom and finances possible with a life in Biotechnology Sales.

That's just a little glimpse of "me" and the things I enjoy. See you next time.