Finding My Place In The World...

I've discovered that the Church is both the best and worst place to find a job. I don't mean a job in the literal sense of 9-5, two 15 minute breaks, IRA, and Health Coverage per se.

I am talking about the finding of one's place for ministry. I don't know if you have encountered the same visage as I but I find that people and politics get squarely in the way of trying to be successful in many a ministry.

I find myself today doing things within the church merely because there is a need and to stay involved. The difficulty in that is there is little joy left after years of doing this. Doing for the sake of doing. Looking for some way to fit in. I oft feel like an outsider within my own church family. Have you experienced that? Pretending to enjoy the church family for the opportunity to share in some wonderful worship in the form of music, praise, offerings and word. Don't get me wrong. I enjoy learning the word, giving of my finances to meet the needs of the church's many ministries, and praising God through song and expression. I wouldn't trade those moments for anything in the world. They are like a beautiful piece of art that, even though you yourself paid nothing for it since it was a gift, you couldn't even fathom the idea of selling it.

What I have found is that position and personality, akin to the corporate world, win out in ministry as well. If you have a somewhat rigid travel schedule for work, good luck. If you aren't as popular with a particular age group, good luck. If you are shy and cannot bring yourself to ask to play a part in a given ministry, good luck. If you're too loud or outspoken, even when your right, good luck. If you think the church should be moving or acting faster or slower than the leadership, good luck. If you're too politically minded, good luck.

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I look at it this way, if Jesus could use Peter...

What I've discovered in the last several years is a subculture within the church that doesn't want to make waves. They wear weights of condemnation about their waist that if you rock the church "boat" then you can't be spiritual or correct. So, they say nothing. They come to church. Enjoy the service. Try to maintain a comfortable relationship with everybody. Then they go home. They may involve themselves in supporting church needs at workdays, clean-up days, ect. They'll even show up for the non-confrontational events like church suppers and men's breakfast's so it looks like their plugged in. They put on the church like a fine smoking jacket and then take it off when it' becomes uncomfortable.

We wonder why our churches don't grow much on the norm. Yes, we have mega-churches. You've seen them. Fifteen-Thousand Members plus and it is so easy to hide there that I'm certain that that is where we'll find many of our church-wounded. But the churches on most street corners are stagnant or shrinking. It is of little wonder that you see the Emerging Church phenomenon where political correctness, legalism, and perfection are thrown out with a preference for in-your-face honesty, non-judgementalism, and an appreciation for "just doing it" even though it's not commercial grade. Do they have it all right? No. But there are apects of Christianity that I think that they have either rediscovered or brought into the light for the rest of us to oooh-and-ah at. Maybe even try on for ourselves.

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Can people only plug in when there is a new need that is suddenly thrust upon the church? Or must they create a ministry for something that the church leadership hasn't thought of or placed their family members into? Churches today have many CEO's (Church Executive Officers) where they really should present the church as CEO (Church of Equal Opportunity). I'm not talking a legalistic form of Christian Affirmative Action. No. Just a willingness to allow anyone to plug in doing what they are gifted to do. If God gave them a particular gift, who are we to say whether they should be allowed or enabled to use it or not.

I remember attending a very well endowed church of roughly 750 attending Sunday morning services. It had an incredible sports complex attached to serve as a fantastic tool for reaching the youth of the area. It had a small but thriving K-6 school. It once gave over $250,000 towards foreign and home missions during an annual missions convention. Everybody was involved and finding "their place."

Then, one year, a new pastor started as the Head Pastor. He let go of the 4 Associate Pastors. The Youth Staff was replaced. The office staff were let go and replaced with their own family members. The schools' Principal was replaced by his wife. Several teachers were replaced by his daughters. The worship team was replaced by his musical family. You get the drift. In a couple of years they had to sell off the buildings as attendance couldn't afford the current complex or salaries. It failed in its' purpose. Its' adherents no longer felt needed nor had "their place" any longer.

Where did all these displaced brothers and sisters go? Some left the church. Hurt. Spiteful. Marriages suffered. Their children hated church. Some moved on to find "their place" in other churches. That's what I did. I immediately got involved leading or singing worship. Within a year I was preaching in a newly established youth group and leading worship in a little "less traditional" way. Having been going on and organizing missions trips, my wife and I were asked to coordinate the missions department. It...was...busy. But life was good and I was so in love with seeing what God was doing in our church and youth group that doing less never entered my mind.

Funny though. I now find myself in the same exact situation that I did 14 years ago. No longer doing what my hearts desire is, singing and working with youth. Finding myself at odds with positions taken by others, I seek to work in the background, meeting needs, avoiding confrontation, invisible, keeping too busy to care any longer, thinking that I need to find "my place."